It has come to my attention that comments sent to my blog using older versions of Internet Explorer had not been showing up. So if you have commented and did not get a response, I apologize. We (meaning my husband) have fixed the problem. Feel free to resend comments that did not appear and I will be happy to respond! Thank you!
Best,
Doreen (Dori) Lenz Holte
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Put a Lid on It
I love analogies.
So here’s one for you…
Often the first instinct, when there’s a grease fire
in your kitchen, is to dump a bucket of water on it. Of course, most of us know better. We know a lot about fire and we know that water
will only make a grease fire spread.
We don’t know a lot about why someone starts to
stutter. Our first instinct is to “put
out the fire” by suggesting a child talk differently in order to not stutter. But like water to a grease fire, this will
most likely only exacerbate the problem.
Why? Because the
suggestion is apt to create more anxiety around talking. We may not know much about the cause of stuttering, but we do know that anxiety to stuttering is like
water to a grease fire.
So let’s just put a lid on it.
Keep them talking and keep talking fun!
Best,
Doreen (Dori) Lenz Holte
Author of Voice Unearthed: Hope, Help, and a Wake-Up Call for the Parents of Children Who Stutter
Author of Voice Unearthed: Hope, Help, and a Wake-Up Call for the Parents of Children Who Stutter
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Bullying – it doesn’t end with the kids or on the playground!
Several months ago I witnessed a speech therapist I admire make light of the fact that children usually only use their speech tools while with the therapist. While I firmly believe that there is not one drop of malicious intent behind the casual acceptance of this common observation, we need to understand that the negative impact of setting up unattainable goals for a child can be devastating.
I’ve often hear parents say “I just don’t know why
he doesn’t use his tools at home, he does so well with his therapist.” Both parents and speech therapists usually
decide that the child just needs more practice.
When that doesn’t help, they decide that they’ve done their duty by
filling the speech tool box, now the child can use these tools when HE chooses,
placing the onus squarely on the child’s shoulders. ouch.
The confusion and uncertainty inherent in therapy
for children who stutter creates an insecure foundation for therapists. In addition, speech therapists are under undue
pressure to report progress (too often defined as fewer speech errors) in a relatively
short period in order to justify continued therapy. Parents are desperate for solutions – the idea
of their child having a life-long challenge with this issue is so painful it is
almost unthinkable, especially in the early years.
So we, in turn, impose expectations on these kids
that most often set them up for failure -- failure that is relentless and
permeates almost every moment of this child’s world The
late Tim Field, expert on the subject of bullying in the workplace, states that
a common strategy used to bully an employee is to “put
the individual in a situation in which failure is almost certain.”[1]
Have we caring adults all become unintentional bullies?
Family Lives, a charitable organization in the U.K.,
reports that when a disabled child is being bullied:
-
Their condition may be reinforced or worsened.- They may become reluctant to mix in social situations. [2]
This was the exact outcome of Eli’s speech therapy. His stuttering went from mild to moderate to
severe (condition reinforced or worsened), and he became silent and withdrawn (reluctant
to mix in social situations).
It may seem harsh to label our actions as bullying,
but the similarities around the negative impact are too concerning to ignore. We must work together to extricate this strategy
from speech therapy for kids who stutter.
We must keep them talking and keep it fun!
Best,
Doreen (Dori Lenz
Holte)
Author of Voice Unearthed: Hope, Help, and a Wake-Up
Call for the Parents of Children Who Stutter
1. Tim Field, Bully in Sight Success Unlimited (1996) p. 43
2. http://www.bullying.co.uk/advice-for-parents/how-does-bullying-affect-your-child/Call To Action!
I’ve heard from so many of you including speech
therapists, parents, and adults who stutter who wholeheartedly agree with my concerns
around introducing speech tools to children who stutter. You share stories of the increased silence
and withdrawal, depression and lack of achievement.
You also share stories of hope, most often
hinged on simply listening and helping the child to develop a life around the
child’s passions instead of how they talk.
You share stories of how you kept kids talking and kept if fun.
I love hearing those stories – it gives me hope for
these kids. Others in more influential
positions need to hear your voices also.
Please connect with the powers that be, especially ASHA, to share your
first-hand experiences and concerns. They
need to fully understand the front-line reality of these “evidence-based”
recommendations. Create your own message
or feel free to forward any posting from my blog. Links to ASHA include:
Unearth your voices!
Happy 2014!
Best,
Doreen (Dori) Lenz Holte
Author of Voice Unearthed: Hope, Help, and a
Wake-Up Call for the Parents of Children Who Stutter
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)